6 reasons why writing is like sex

Why writing is like sex

Writing is like sex.

No seriously, it is. For six very good reasons:

1. The more you have it, the more you want it.

When you and your honey are on a little rumpy-pumpy roll, you start to want it more. The memory of how good it felt to be connected and raw in the ultimate act of creation is fresh in your head and yesthankyoumoreplease fills your mind.

Likewise, when you and your writing have been getting intimate on a frequent basis – ideally, every day – you start to want it more. It becomes easier to get started and easier to find your flow and your rhythm. It becomes a part of your day, your habit, your life. The memory of how good it felt to be connected and raw in the second-best act of creation is fresh in your mind, and your fingers find their place on the keyboard with familiarity and keenness.

2. You can’t always wait until the mood is right.

As much as it would be nice to have candles flickering and a freshly-made bed, sometimes you just have to do it on top of the pile of dirty laundry. Sometimes the best thing for your relationship is to do it, even though you’re tired or distracted or would rather be watching Law and Order.

Likewise, it’d be great if every time you sat down to write, the mood was perfect: your desk clear, your intention-filled Post-it notes gently fluttering in the breeze, and your mind raring to go. But sometimes the best thing you can do for your book (or blog or business) is to just sit down and do it, even though you’re tired or distracted or would rather be watching Law and Order.

3. The more you do it, the better you get.

Pretty self explanatory, really.

4. Sometimes, a quickie is great.

Seriously, sometimes amazing things happen in fifteen minute windows. Don’t waste those spare five minutes while you’re waiting for the roast to be ready – you can absolutely build a book (or a fulfilling relationship) with some powerful, focused five to fifteen minute blocks.

5. Sometimes it feels really, really good.

But sometimes it doesn’t. Sometimes it’s just average – or indeed, disappointing. Sometimes it’s mind-blowing and we are quite sure that we are doing/writing the Best Thing Ever, but sometimes it’s just meh and you feel a little out-of-sorts or out-of-synch.

But no matter — it’s still a powerful creative exercise. It’s still building your relationship with your significant other/book, one session at a time. It’s still a beautiful way to spend an afternoon.

And finally…

6. It’s not about the (ahem) finale.

The end goal is not the be-all-and-end-all. Sometimes you won’t even reach it, or it can seem faraway and out of your grasp. So you bloody-well better be enjoying the process or all that energy will be for naught. If you’re just going for that moment of glory, you’ve probably got your writing/relationship priorities a little mixed up. It’s all in the journey.

So with all of this in mind, I hope you can get down to business today, whether with your book, your blog, or your babe.

It’s business time, baby!



9 Responses to “6 reasons why writing is like sex”

  1. Rei

    This is brilliant! Especially #6.

    I would say that with writing (or any art form) as with sex, if you’re focusing solely on the end product, it’s also much less likely to happen! We all have glamorous ideas of what our finished product will be like, and if we compare our rough work to that, it can stop us in our tracks.